JOSHUA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mM0-ZU8njdo

I am sorry for not being there,
while you're suffering in hell.
I am sorry for not being there,
as a loving cousin, as a family.

Man, I miss you...

The pain of the family
is unmeasurable..
i can feel them mourning,
the grief and the sorrow.
it hurts so much ...

I am sorry for not helping you...
for not guiding you ..
I am sorry ..
I love you

Lord , please take care of him..

Philippine bus hijacking

I felt bad for my homeland...

Philippines is a country

it is not ROLANDO MENDOZA.

So please people,

I would understand if you dont want to go PHILIPPINES...

but please..

A mistake of ONE MAN,

is not a whole countries FAULT..

neither the entire FILIPINO NATION's FAULT.

18th mania

Yesterday August 15, was my 18th birthday

it is so nice that I am adult now.

Legal, as how they describe it..

I was surprised at PAULANER BRAUHAUS

by my colleagues..

We (dad, ate luciel, and moma Anne) had our supper in a steamboat restaurant...

We had fun!!!

my Boyfriend greeted me in australian time.. that was so funny..

he wanted to be the 1st person to greet me on the exact day,

so he based it on his time.. hahaha that was a surprise.

we had lunch at subway... and watch tekken afterwards..

i went home early hoping to talk to anthony..

but unfortunately I was not able to.

Almost 200 people greeted me for my birthday..

personally, through call and text messages, even in facebook

and other social sites.

I am very thankful =3

Today August 16,

 I had my exam on Economics..

and I fail -__-

I lost my wallet.

then I receive this:

thanksss to leanne,, this is just awesome...

.

thanks HEAVENLY FATHER <3

Grand Love

Today 14th of August,

is one of those sad days of my year..

I call oversear - from Singapore to Philippines,

to talk to mom...

After a brief moment of convo with mom

she passed the phone to my grandfather..

Grandfa asked about my studies,

and asked me to not bring him down.

I'm his only hope.

Grandfa barely says it all to me,

but I am glad that he said those words, even if its a

Big responsibility, it still made me feel warm inside.

and he said I LOVE YOU to me <3

August 10 was my Grandmas Birthday..

I feel bad for not being there.

I miss grandma..

so when I talked to her,

I miss her even more...

We have an awesome relationship..

like bestfriends.

She's like my mom, I want to protect her.

I love my grandma so much.

and I cried when I heard she is

suffering from pneumonia...

both my grandparents said the same thing before we ended the convo.

"Always pray to God."

My grandparents are my 2nd teachers about Love of God.

I came to be an active youth for christ through their encouragement.

that was before, but now I got no time.

I hope and pray that all things will get less stressful in the next day.

and I hope to change for the better, to organize myself.

I wanna be with them so much, it hurts.

In reality check, my grandparents will be staying here

not longer enough.

I want them to see me successing in my education and career.

I want them to witness the proper marriage,

the happilly ever after w/c is my choice.

I want them to be here,

when i settle things for myself...

like they always wished for me.

I just want to be with them.

Pain

I'm in a Roller Coaster ride at the moment.

Mixed emotions... is what i feel.

'50% Scared'.

I didnt mean to open it..

but yes.....

it hurts to the bones...

my whole body was shaking...

shaking to death..

no tears have flown..

but its really painful..

so painful ..

to made me asked for death..

Now im shattered to million pieces,

how to get a life and move on?

Am i not enough?

when will I become the only one in someone's life?

that my smile's enough to make his day so bright?

maybe I'm really not that kind of girl who would be taken seriously.?

maybe i should just stop whining now and supress everything...

so at least the mistakes will be lessen.

no i cant anymore.. i cannot stop... this is just too painful..

i cant bear it anymore...

get a grip girl..

cannot be appreciated...

because its also my fault...

I am so depress ^_^

Fun under the sun

I had a great time with my girls today..

Nicole, Huiyi and Nicole ...

It was a long day with my friends.

Me and Nicole had lunch in SUPERDOGS,

it was good.

Meet Priscilla in the same place...

and meet Huiyi at the Candy Empire.

We drop by at 711 to buy water and other shop for the volleyball.

we played until we got our skin tanned (and not to mention i am the most tanned).

Though, i was not able to show them what i truly feel about it...

I am really happy that i spent my day with them, that i enjoyed it.

I feel bad,but my mind is just somewhere else....

and I cant help it...

I am also glad that I meet Huiyi's boyfriend.. He got fair skin.. tall and Huiyi looks like a midget..hahahaha.. I thought he is shy ... but yeah .. crazy inside...(in a nice way).He looks japanese.. and he got a friend with him.. uhmmm i dunno what to say about him.. lol... cause he never talked to me.

anyway....

I miss leanne :)

very first - blog

I never thought of making myself a blog, Cause I really dont get it all.
I thought blogs are only for those people who are good in literature.
And I just realized that I was wrong :)

My mind is like a machine made to work non-stop --- It has a lot of things in it (more than a usual brain must have). I imagine things a lot, and day dream more than a person should do. And maybe if I am an author, I might have made hundreds of books by now. All of my dreams seems to be so real, that if I can only draw them, people might think that it wasn't from a dream but from a real scenario. I also hear music playing in my head, but unfortunately, I can't sing.

Same goes with my feelings... I have problems expressing my own damn self (what my heart is saying and what my mind is thinking), I don't know how.. And the worst part is, I easilly forget things...

Many times I've decided to make a journal but there's no single chance to make 1 and finish it. Journals help people recall things, and reflect on what they have done in a specific time and place..

Soooo i decided to make this blog, cause I guess this will be a very big help to make reflections of myself day by day... After all, Im always in front of this computer... So I hope this will help me remember those important things I must remember as time passes by , before memories fades away..